Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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Josh is sooo great at blowing, xoxo Dylan Hodge.

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Was in a coma, survived trough smoke and mirrors, and I had 3 separated sections of my order in order to test the efficiency of my words, united we are about 6.800.000 people. Excuse my anger below, I mean I was in a coma and ended up on some hard painkillers, and while I am still tapering down on a "totally medicinally safe" dosage of 20 mg valium its a bitch, even for a guy that enjoys a mild painkiller every now and then in order to focus. Excuse my excessive typing, its paincontrol vs the stress and all 64 side effects of valium. I am alive, and my followers know that, I do not mean to brag, but Neronism tends to end up fucked up when I am gone with people trying to live up to what only I can do apparently, so I decided it was time to mash the separate groups together... Btw, we live at point zero now, if you do not know where that is, I can inform you at later time. But be quick about it if you have more questions, we only chat on horsehead due the "discussed hours"

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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A horse enters a bar. The bartender looks at the horse and says "Why the harness?"

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

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What did peter griffin say to the black guy? Oh you are black.

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A man did not like this site

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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a chicken and a rooster walk into a bar. and then walk out because a bar is no place for a chicken and a rooster.

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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What is the difference between an Australian and an Ethiopian? One is from Australia the other is from Ethiopa

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Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops