“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

friend 1: Alright man, i got your back friend 2: AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why do Teenagers, mostly girls between the ages of 12-17 love Justin Bieber? Because he promotes himself worldwide and makes sure that girls know who he is thus creating a fan base that will be large enough to promote his career, which ensures him a safe financial future.

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

A black person and a white person decide to have a race. Who won? The white person Don't be a racist.

what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

What's green and if you eat it you die? A Biljarts table.

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Rocky was chasing him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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