Why couldn'nt Sally swing on the swing? Because Sally was a carrot

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says "Why the long face?" and the horse said "My wife died of terminal cancer"

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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Uh... Justin, the most pointless man... I gotta cringe for a moment, I don't want to be mean here, but I think my body cell total opinion pool dropped a large quantity there, its not that I do not want you anymore, but, my body`s mass body cell total is kinda denying me... Actually I am denying IT... ACTUALLY WE ARE DENYING EACH OTHER, (which is totally awesome, united denial fighting against one another FOR DENYING THE MOST! BECAUSE COOPERATION IS FOR PUSSIES!) Anyway, hell I am dead tired, oh yeah, Justin... Man, Uh, who where you again?

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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knock knock. who's there? your neighbor. o hi come one in!

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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what's brown and sticky? A Stick

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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" Whats the deal with airline food? " -Sharon

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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