Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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Not even I believe you will ever know yourself that well ever Nero, you see what you created as a false illusion, as all of your, or rather our effort for nothing, as a pathetic attempt to create heaven on earth. In my eyes, you succeeded in doing so, and if it where for you, or more people such as yourself and I, it would have lasted, stop trying to give people what they do not deserve, and remember that making others happy will never cure the sadness and pain deep within you, only cover it. Stop fleeing from yourself, stay, get to know yourself.

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Q:What did the duck say to the other duck A:We are both ducks

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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what is red and can grow hair water i lied about it growing hair and that it is red

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Why did the astronaut die in space? Just kidding there was no astronaut. It was a cucumber

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? It's the gas man, I've come to read your meter, like we arranged.

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What is green and is not grass A frogg

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what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

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A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. Who's driving? Most likely one of the two, because if they were not that would be illegal.

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon.

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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