Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second man would have seen it. Made by Bobbie Pummel

Have you see stevie wonders house? No. Neither has he.

Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

If you listen to Justin Beiber all day long, what do you become? Very hungry and thirsty. And you need to go to the restroom.

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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