Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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What did the cat say to the dog before chasing each other You have a nice looking ass

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Help! I've fallen and I can't get up.

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Why did the drug dealer get arrested? Cause he was black.

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how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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