happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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Whats blue, fuzzy and has little red dots all over? Beats me...

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What is black, white and red all over? Something that pertains those characteristics

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are also red, "Honey, please call the fire department!"

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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outside your comfort zone

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? nothing he was Jewish

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get for ya?" The man replies, "A beer."

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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what is the name of the book that helen keller wrote LADIUFgSLDGFhalkjgfvcgh

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Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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Chuck Norris was in a staring contest with the sun. He's blind now.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops