whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

thumb_up thumb_down -33

The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why are soccer players sad? They couldn't play Football.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

thumb_up thumb_down -33

haha

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

A guy, arriving at the pearly gates of Heaven, asks St. Peter "Why did I die? Why me." St. Peter replies: "You died the same way everyone does. Lack of oxygen to the brain."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why do black people always sit in the back of the bus? There aren't any available seats in the front.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

pants on the ground pants on the ground lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's worse than failing a school test for Peter? Nothing, because he is asian.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

thumb_up thumb_down -35

- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

thumb_up thumb_down -35

A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops