Your mother's so fat she occupies more space than a thin person does and is more likely to bump into environmental objects.

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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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There was a 4-car accident in Mexico today. 87 people died.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? A Banana. The middle aged man opened the door, prepared to distribute candy to the trick or treaters.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

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[Set up] [No punch line]

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When life gives you limes....... first you have some problem and second u throw them at people

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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What did the lesbian say to the hot dog? "nice to MEAT you" get it the hot dog is made of meat!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Kade was sad. He had finally got a girlfriend when he realized he actually liked men.

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Why didn't Johnny walk to school this week? He was dead.

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Juan got hit by a truck Knock Knock Who's there? Juan's brother coming to stab you in the abdomen.

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I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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How do you get a fat man to go outside? Blow up his house

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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