Q. What do mummies do when they run out of toilet paper? A. Nothing - they're dead and inanimate.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

All the planets are named after gods Ours is named after dirt....

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what do you call 10 black people in a red car? overcrowded

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the red fish say to the blue fish? Nothing fish can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do call a spoon that doesn't work? Broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the man steal change from the tip jar? he wanted another state quarter for his collection

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you hear the joke about the vacuum? It sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo' mama's so black the dark couldn't even see her.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you see Stevie wonders house? Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the black man walk into the catholic church? He was catholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops