What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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Wife: "I suggest you check properly next time you lose your keys so that you find them quicker" Husband: "I suggest that next time I sit down and have a beer while I wait for Doc Martin and his time machine to give my keys back.

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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What's the difference between an orange? A bicycle because a vest doesn't have any sleeves.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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what looks like a bananna but is blue a blue bananna

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

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Why did the girl throw the clock out of the window? The clock was broken, and it was the only valuable object in her possession.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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