Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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"Do you like pie?" "No." "Do you like blueberries?" "No." "I have something you won't like." "Is it a blueberry pie?" "No, I shagged your wife last night".

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roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

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What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia And so do I..

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What do you call a Black man sweeping the floor? A janitor.

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Which is worse, 9/11 or the holocaust? Biting into an apple and finding a worm.

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What says "Mooo"? A goat with an identity crisis.

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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What do gay horses eat? Horse dick.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I stabbed a person. No seriously, I just stabbed them. There's no punchline. Just Just Stab wounds.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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