class is canceled. My professor died.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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I like my coffe like my women Without a Penis

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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This is a joke about Helen Keller. "Knock knock" "Who's there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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