What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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What's worst than the holocaust? Coming home and having your parents say " we received an email from your teacher today"

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why was the chair spinning Cause it wants to

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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Why did the man cross the street? He just wanted to .. i don't see why not, i mean he could have gotten ran over by a train on a road but who knows he could have been run over by a turtle!

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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A wild bear walks into a bar, grabs a drink and looks at the man next to it. The man then wakes up from a dream and gets ready for work.

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What do you call a Muslim man flying a plane? The pilot.

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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Q : Who is the most famous celebrity, Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber? A : Neither, because they are just fads.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops