What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Knock knock, ... Little Timmy bursts into tears, Because his parents don't love him.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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What happened when the old man fell off the roof? He died....

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What's worse than seeing another antijoke with "The Holocaust" punchline repeated? The Holocaust.

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My mom

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You've got more chins than a Chinese... Girl with a lot of chins, because she's so fat

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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A man walks into a chiropractor. The chiropractor asked whats wrong with you? The man replies My boner has scoliosis.

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What is Cleopatra's favorite cookie? A: Chips Ahoy

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

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What's the difference between black guy and a bucket of shit? The bucket

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Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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