whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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Why are all the other numbers scared of 7? Beacuse 7 stabbed his mother with a steak knife.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? None they're dead.

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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Knock knock! Just kidding.

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Whats worst than getting bombed by the russians? The holocaust!

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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