Q. What did the father say to his son? A. Nothing, he just hit him with his belt. His wife tried to intervene, but she too was hit by said belt.

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A horse walks into a bar, and is then put down because of the injuries it sustained from the impact.

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Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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How do you get a camel out of a desert? a helicopter

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A pregnant woman walks into a bar and miscarries.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Why did the ANTI-JOKE book cry? -It wasn't funny

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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What's orange, brown, and blue? An orange, brown, and blue object.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

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Roses are Red And sometimes yellow My mother is mellow I have terminal cancer. I also fisted my grandpa's anus last night

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Phew... it's gone.

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A man took a crap. . . . It felt amazing

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Dead girls can't say no.

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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1-"What's the worst thing about a joke?" 2-"The stupid punchlines at the end" 1-"No-- when someone dies and can't live to tell it..." (laughter) 3-"What joke you guys laughing at." 2-"None of you're business" 3-"Damn I really wanted to know" 1-"Didn't we all."

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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A used condom filled with water and left on a radiator makes an ideal and inexpensive lava lamp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops