Roses are gray, violets are blue; I'm red-green colorblind so I occasionally have difficulty seeing most shades of red or green.

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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A fish didn't walk into a bar, because fish cannot walk.

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What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Nothing, chimneys can't talk!

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What the librarian say to the man? Hi, can I help you?

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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a man walked into a bar, sat down and had a drink with his friends.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops