A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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copy me and i will kill you

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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What has straight black lines and is square? A refferee.

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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Go to this website and this game is an antijoke to laugh at http://iamhelenkeller.com/

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meatspin.fr

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To collect it's AIDS medication.

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Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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