A: Can I get a tall white Russian. B: No. A: Why not? B: Because this is a Barnes and Nobles. However, we do have a Starbucks, and I can offer you a venti caramel iced coffee"

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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why did superman die, aids he got from wonder women

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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whats long and black on a black guy slavery

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Giant scorpions, red roses, adoption, the holocaust, bars, changing light bulbs, and fridges.

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A bloke walked in to a bakers shop and asked for a loaf of bread. Certainly sir, said the assistant, white or brown?...it doesn't matter, answered the man, I've left my bike outside

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Bob: This joke is so hilarious but you must start off by saying knock knock. Tom: okay... Knock knock Bob: who's there? Tom: ...... Bob: well? Tom: I don't know what to say??? Bob: so the joke left ya speechless!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There is no reason. Chickens don't have the thinking skills to reason.

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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