For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Jesse's mom is so god damn fat that it is an extreme danger just being around her

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Why was Justin Beiber Booed off the stage. Because I spelt his last name incorrectly.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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your mom is so stupid that she is suffering from down's syndrome, and has a shorter life expectancy than normal people.

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despite popular opinion to the contrary you shouldn't eat mercury.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Cause KFC was chasing him.

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HEY YOU! TISSUE!

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You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

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I'm not racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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I forgot to tell you something I forgot wat it was

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How can you tell a blonde a brunette and a red head apart? Ask them if that is their natural hair color.

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have cancer."

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PICKLES

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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What did the elephant say to the pelican? He didn't say anything. I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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