'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

what did Dr. Dre say? Nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead!

What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

Knock Knock whos there? Semore Frickelson Semore Frickelson Who? What other Semore Frickelson do you know!? Let me in its freezing out here!

What did the gay man receive for christmas? AIDS

What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

There are 11 people hanging onto a rope that comes down from an airplane. 10 of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one person should get off because if they don't, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech, ending with the words, "I'll get off." The blondes, all moved by the brunette's speech, start clapping. Problem solved.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

child labor

Q: What do you brush your teeth with, sit on and sleep in? A: A toothbrush, a chair and a bed

Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

It's not ok to have intercourse with a woman who say's "No!" But what about "Let go of me!"?

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

,Do you know what hapened to the janitor who cleaned the school halls? He finished the job, got paid a reasonable amount and went home to his average family.

why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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