Why did the girl stop running? Because she is in a wheelchair and will never walk again

A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

There is a boy in a school............. SUDDENTLY, PEDOBEAR APPEARS!

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Pfft. Stupid. Apples are for healthy people. Go for the ice cream. There's no worms in that.

Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

it was all Tagart

A man did not like this site

How do you make an onion cry? Onions are incapable of crying

Roses are Blue Violets are Red I have Alsheimers... Cheese on Toast

If Jewish men light a menorah during Hanukkah, what do Jewish women light? Jewish women light a menorah as well; Judaism is a relatively fair religion to both sexes.

A rhinoceros walks into a bar. As it felt threatened by the presence of many humans, the rhino attacks and kills several people with the big horn on its nose.

A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

Knock knock Come in

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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