Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the cupboard cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the clown fall out of the tree? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a cat in a piece of bred? An inbred cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does a person with Alzheimer's do? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops