Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

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Yo mamma so fat when I searched her on the internet, I got 28,000,000 results

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Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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What is better than one trillion dollars? One trillion and one dollars... duh.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops