write I if you think we should all yell A when dylan says orange.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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Mikey : I wan to divorce. Miney :are u funking crazy Mikey : no I'm funking dazy !

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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How did Doris respond to Uncle Monty's innapropriate chewing of her nose, ears and eyelids? She cut his head off, placed it an a saucepan, boiled and seasoned it, and then sold it to the middle east. The middle east were very grateful, and sent Doris a camel's penis as a thankyou gift.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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What's white and black? Color blind.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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In my opinion I am superior to you all in every single way,an opinion you might disagree with, but can respect. While on the other hand, I have no reason to respect and even less agree with your inferior opinions at all.

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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Would you spit or swallow? Well, in circumstances when i am eating or drinking, i would swallow. Although if i had something disgusting in my mouth i would spit

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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A man walks out of a bar. He didn't bring his driver's license, but managed to do a grand theft auto and unfortunately, crashed on the way home beacuse of a tree. Also, killed 12 people by car

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In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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