A black guy , a white guy and a jew walk into a resturaunt They are offered the special.

A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

A man walks into a pizza place and orders a pizza. When he got the pizza, he saw it had pepporonis on it. He liked that, so he ate the pizza.

who's a knob,a liar, and systematically ruining a once well-run family football club by employing crooks , buying footballers who are well-passed there sell-out date and getting the team relegated ? steve kean not laughing ? nor are 23 ,000 others

Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

Q: Do you know how to save a black man from drowning? A: No. GOOD!

What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

i committed murder

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

Niall Horan

What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

Guess what my nephew said yesterday? oh wait, i forgot hes dead..

PENIS lol

HAHA HEHE... WOW that was a good one! i didn't get it...

Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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