Knock knock. Who's there? It's me. Oh, come on in. Thanks.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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roses are red violets are blue hey fu i'm making stew out of my own poo

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy became cold easily.

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road... because it got hit by a truck

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antonis sister is mighty fine

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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How do you run faster than a cheetah? Cut off its legs.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops