se* is like math add the couple minus the clothes add the cream and just hope they dont multiply

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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pobody's nerfect

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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My peni s

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

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Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

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Faithful men.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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