What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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A man dreamt that he was eating a marshmallow. He ate his dog.

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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Your adopted

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops