How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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You Know what worse than having 10 Kids? Having Eleven

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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Roses are red, Violets are microwaves, I have amnesia, Roses are red.

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I Have a Black Friend

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Wanna hear a joke? no

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops