What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

Everytime someone says Jamie on this website, he's referring to Dylan, cause he's to insecure to write jokes about anyone else. Please direct all jokes at Dylan Hodge, 14 years of age, living in Queensland, Australia, come to his house to watch the f a g man, suck his mothers p e n i s.

what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

What's blue? The sky.

So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

Why did the man cross the road? Because he couldn't get his dick out of the chicken

This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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