Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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what do you call a chicken thats little? a chicken. I lied about the little part

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzwa.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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an ethopian thanksgiving

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When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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your mommas so fat she should be worried about getting diabetes

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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A man asks his doctor if you can die from drinking to much water. The doctor replies 'Yes you can'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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