A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

thumb_up thumb_down +16

5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the difference between a seal and an armadillo? They are both aquatic animals, except for the armadillo.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Did you know Helen Keller had a playground in her backyard? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +16

My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the fish fly It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops