Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because it saw some food, or because it felt threatened on the side of the road it was already on.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

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What did Jesus Christ say to John the Baptist? Nothing. He didn't exist.

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A black and a white walk into a bar, d.r. King would be proud.

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

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What's Hitler's favorite beverage? Soda! Not Juice (jews) you asshat!

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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What do a grape and an Elephant have in common? For sensitivity to people who suffer from color blindness, this joke has been cancelled.

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A man goes into a bar. He leaves drunk and beats his wife to death and burns the house and kids.

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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hey hey apple

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Holy guacamole Pineapples

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What do you call a gay man? Phil Krahn

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops