what you get time to go with? - a clock

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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Much to my surprise, the Hoover Dam was not built by beavers.

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Why couldn't little Tiffany play kickball with the other kids at recess? I chopped her legs off.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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How do you post a Tasmanian devil? Recorded Delivery

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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knock, , knock , who's there the gas man the gas man who ? the gas man who is gonna turn your gas off !

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Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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