Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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Why didn't the girl get on the school bus? It was Sunday.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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Why do all asians all look alike? Because they do.

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What is worse than throwing your baby in the river? Letting Moses out of Egypt

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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Why did the hamster cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

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What did the coconut say to the lizard? Nothing, the coconut fell off the tree and killed the lizard.

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What's the best part about having sex with a bunch of 3 year olds? There's 20 of them

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

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Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

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Two scientists walk into a bar, the pair walk up to the counter and the first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have some H2O too." 10 minutes later, the second scientist dies.

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What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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