A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You're mama's so stupid, she decided to go back to school and finish her degree in Russian Literature to improve her self-esteem and maybe -- just maybe -- save her marriage, which had been on the rocks, mostly due to her intolerable self-loathing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than failing an English test? finding out your now exgirlfriend has aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops