What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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A jewish man walks into a bar, has a drink, and goes home to his wife.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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Why is the boy lying down on the floor? The chandelier fell on him.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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How do you kill a black man wearing a bullet proof turbin? Shoot him anywere other then his turbin.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

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What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

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A man walked into the woods with alzheimers......pancakes

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops