Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair... Fuzzy Wuzzy has cancer

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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asdasdasdasd

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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