What did the terrorist get for Christmas? A bullet in his head.

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Q: How pregnancy test is performed in Somalia?! A: Shove a piece of bread between the legs of the women and if the bread is bitten when you take it out, she is pregnant!

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If you search "fat black man" on Google, you will find many reesults about black people who happen to be chronicly obese.

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Did you know that if you say "gullible" slowy, it still sounds like you're saying "gullible."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The loss of originality in anti joke formats. And hypocrisy.

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What did Shaq do when he first met Rondo? Play Basketball

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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Q: Whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion A: Getting raped by three giant scorpion's

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You wanna hear a joke? Your dick.

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Yo mama's so fat she has diabetes.

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Whats Better Than Apple Pie Sweeeet Pie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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What worse than being shot? Waking up and finding a penis in your mouth.

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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Cacti are green Clouds are white Spoons are silver Corn is yellow Carrots are orange Asphalt is black Grapes are purple Cinnamon is brown Lets's have sex

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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