what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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Why was the black man fired from his job? Because the company was beginning to lose sales which then resulted in job cuts.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

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Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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Are you still trying to turn me on or something? Well its not not working. Anyway, what is yogurt? So I am eating dead bacteria here? Ifs so strange I feel like I have known you my entire life.

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Why should you be scared when a black man asks you, "What are looking at?" Because if he is over the age of 18, he should know better than to end a sentence with a preposition, unless of course, he never had an education, in which case... you should probably run for your life.

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How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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a white guy walks into a bar luckily he is not an alcoholic and knows when to safely stop drinking and already gave his keys to a friend.

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Why didn't the girl paint her nails white? Because in this society, that would be considered racist.

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What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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What do you call a black man standing on a podium? Slave trade

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what`s green and flys a plain i was kidding about the green

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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