There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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A fish swims into a wall. It does not say anything, seeing as fish do not possess vocal chords and therefore are incapable of speech.

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road. Because roads were not invented then dumbass.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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One time at band camp.............tha'ts it........

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Your mother is so fat, that making fun if her is a terrible thing to do.

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? with boomerangs

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How did the clown get the baby to stop crying? He hit it with an axe.

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence and doesnt fi...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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