Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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Dad: Blind side was the black kid who played tight end. Me: Offensive line. Dad: Sorry, African American kid.

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Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Through forceful action.

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Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Yo mama's so fat, I gave her a compliment because we should embrace body acceptance.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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prison isnt fun it also is bland kidnapping is a crime but get in the van

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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Please don't tell anybody about me, or I will be hunted down, taken from my family, and be objected to a life of cruel exploitation.

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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