What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

What does the Priest say to the little boy? Size doesnt matter

a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

who sells coke and ruins lives? Vagina Parker

Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

WOKE UP THIS MORNING AND SAW PROSTITUTE OUT THE WINDOW AND SAID GRANDMA GRANDMA CAN I GO PLAY WITH THAT PROSTITUTE SHE SAID NO YOU CAN PLAY WITH ME BECAUSE I'M A PROSTITUTE TOO

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

What do Michael Jackson and a throbbing, greasy, overcooked Shitake Mushroom have in common? Nothing. Just nothing at all.

What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

Why cant Hellen Keller read? Because shes dead!!!

What is black and white and red all over? A dalmation that was hacked to death with a machete.

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

I am quite mature.

What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

how to turn invisable. eat yourself

?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

A teenager walked into a bar. A drunk man got angry and beat him to death with a club.

Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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