What did the man say when he found a bar of soap in his mailbox? Why is there soap in my mailbox?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

thumb_up thumb_down +27

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down +25

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's brown and sticky A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

joe galasso from plainview ny

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Faith, Family, Friends, those are three words.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops