hi

thumb_up thumb_down +13

time to spruce up!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the west African get for his birthday? Ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +13

yo moma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A doctor walks out of the delivery room, he then relieves a nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with more information. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

WANNA HERE A JOKE? (no, i purposely clicked in this joke website to simply here to fulfill my demonic internet pleasures.)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

guess what? bannanas

thumb_up thumb_down +13

there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Sarah: Knock knock. Jim: Who’s there? Sarah: It’s me, Sarah. Open the door. Jim: It’s me Sarah open the door who? Sarah: Please Jim, it’s freezing out here. Jim: That wasn’t a very funny joke, Sarah. Sarah: Shut the fuck up and let me in. Jim: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops