I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

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Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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A man walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a beer. Bartender says, "That'll be $3.50." Man says,"The joke maker did not explain monetary transactions."

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Ferrari? That was my Ferrari by darragh hamilton

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? A tree stapled to a baby

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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There's now a sandwich named after Jerry Sandusky, it's got 60 year old meat stuffed between buns barely out of the oven.

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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I like my coffee like my women, without a penis

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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