Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers, The middle one's for you.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had leukemia

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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what is long, white, and used almost everywhere? there are a lot of things that fit this description, so it would be highly illogical to make a guess.

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Are you gay. No. Ok.

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whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

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"Knock knock?" "Who's there?" "Two dead kittens."

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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How did Hitler fit 100 jews in his car? He didn't, he was too busy killing them in concentration camps.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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Q: Why did the irishman walk into the bar A: Because he wanted a drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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