What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get pulled over. The cop says "Yuck!" Then shoots the redhead because red hair is disgusting.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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How do you confuse a blond? Nordic mytholigi. That is, if shes american

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he has two legs

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

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your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

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why did the kid drop his toy? a dog was ripping out his throat

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

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dat shoe shine tho

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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