Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are merely the smallest element of language capable of containing meaning and isolation and, as such could never directly produce the 4,000 Newtons of force per square centimetre required to break bones.

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What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

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Boy: what to hear a joke? girl: sure. Boy: woman rights.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

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So a hispanic man and a black man jump from a tree, which one hits the ground first? The hispanic man, the rope caught the black man.

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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I SWEAR TO GOD I'M NOT GAY! But my boyfriend is. Love you, Jeff.

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What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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The Ohio State Buckeyes

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what did one dinosaur say to the other? "rawr"

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I banged your mom so hard that she got a urinary tract infection.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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